so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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