I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
