my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
