I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
