We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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