remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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