i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
whose parrot is this?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
