I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
