you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
