Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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