Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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