Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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