i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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