just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
