i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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