Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
