My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
