K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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