I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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