Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
