We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
