Got a toothbrush?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
