i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize