Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
