I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
