hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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