btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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