he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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