hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
