Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
high people should be assigned attendants
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize