Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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