I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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