Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize