you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
