Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
