how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
