fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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