I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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