Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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