i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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