They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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