i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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