theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
