I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize