Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
