Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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