i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
