New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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