A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
