If that was your dad, he is hot
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
