I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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