I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
