I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
