I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
