sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
