the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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