You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
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He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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