I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize